I would like to dedicate this post for anyone out there that thinks they ran out of time.

Do you ever feel like your window closed on an opportunity? As people, I think we sometimes set ourselves up. We convince ourselves, for whatever reason, that we’re not capable of doing something we wanted to try and do. 

I did something scary this week. If you know anything about me, it’s that I stopped playing soccer after I graduated from high school. I hung the boots up and called it retirement. I never believed I would be around the sport again. Youth sports can be challenging at times. There is an extensive amount of pressure that is pushed onto athletes as they grow up, and I folded before I even gave myself the opportunity to be more.

That was until a brilliant coach and an old friend of mine presented me with the opportunity to coach a youth premier soccer team. 

Having absolutely no clue what I was getting myself into, I said yes, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve made to this day. I hadn’t touched a soccer ball since 2019, and now here I was, around the sport almost every single day. 

In March, there was word of a new semi-professional women’s soccer team starting up in my area. I never considered playing in a competitive setting like that. I didn’t believe I was cut out for it anymore. So much time had passed since I last played in that type of environment, and I felt like if I went, I’d be some washed-up 23-year-old with no business being there. But the coaches I work with and my family convinced me I should try out for the team. 

So there I was, the oldest person at the try out, with no collegiate experience, playing against girls that play at Division I schools or haven’t stopped playing soccer since they could walk. Was it intimidating? Yes! Of course, I didn’t necessarily feel like I belonged there, but who was I to say that I didn’t deserve to give myself the opportunity to try out for this team. 

The majority of the girls knew each other. They played for the same club program or whatnot, and some were even still in high school, but I decided it wouldn’t stop me from trying my best. It’s the least I could do, right? I went onto the field and played the way I have any other day.

Personally, soccer politics aside, I felt really good about the try out. Every play wasn’t necessarily perfect, but I was happy with the way I performed, and above all, I was proud I put myself out there when I NEVER expected to be in a position like that in my life. 

(I also had the support from some of the girls I coach in the bleachers; it made all the difference). 

I could hear them cheering for me or attempting to say hi during a water break. As much as I would’ve loved to run over to them and thank them for being there, for supporting me, I had to keep it professional. So I kept it status quo to little waves when no one was watching.

In that moment, when I saw them, I knew I wasn’t only playing for myself, but I was playing for the girls that I believed in, because they believed in me just as much.

It was scary, and I was anxious beforehand. A lot of my thoughts circled around the idea that I wasn’t cut out for this anymore, that my time to play had passed and I had no business being there. But in all actuality, I outperformed some of the girls that haven’t stopped playing, and the girls I coached were proud of me, it was an extremely wholesome moment. 

After the try out ended, I asked myself, what was I so afraid of? I realized there was no reason for me to be nervous, aside from the idea of my legs giving in from all the running, there was truly nothing I needed to be worried about. I put myself out there, and I’ll be happy regardless of whether I make the team or not, but I proved to myself that I shouldn’t feel like I’m being held back just because of time. 

Has a moment in your life occurred recently, where you want to try something new, but it feels like time has taken away the opportunity?

We’re Running Out of Time

For many of us, it feels like there’s never enough time in the day to accomplish all of the things we set out to do. There are things we always prioritize: our jobs, feeding the cats, catching up on our favorite reality tv… But when do we make time to do things that are new or out of our comfort zone? 

When do we have time for writing a blog when we don’t feel like a writer?

When do we have time to go for a run when we don’t feel like a runner?

When do we have time to use our creativity and expand our horizons when we don’t feel like we’re capable of being creative?

The reality is, it’s not a matter of having the time, but rather making the time. Trust me, I know, our schedules are tight, and as humans, routine brings us comfort. When we let ourselves explore opportunities outside of our comfort zone, and test our limits, we can feel even more fulfillment than we have before. 

The concept of time, and what it condemns our lives to, should never be the reason we hold ourselves back from an opportunity. Society, as a whole, projects this pressure to accomplish things in a certain timeframe. 

A perfect example is when you’re a senior in high school. Everyone expects you to know where you want to go to college and what you want to study, but how are you truly supposed to know? At this point in life, you barely even know what you want to wear to prom, yet you’re expected to make at least a $20,000 decision on where you want to study.

Why has it become such a competition to prove that you know what you’re doing? Majority of people around my age feel a need to figure out what they want to do with their lives, but what is the rush? So many people, who just so happen to be older than me, always say they’re, “still trying to figure it out.” If there are people that are older than us (“us” ranging from 16 to 84) that still hold uncertainty in their lives about what their true identity is, why should we feel the pressure to understand what is right for ourselves?

A perfect example is my mom, Tonya. My mom has worked remotely for a scheduling company for 20 years. She has grown throughout the company by becoming the manager, the one that everyone goes to when any crisis, question, or statement may occur. She made this decision because she wanted to be around to raise myself and my brothers while still having a career. I don’t thank her enough for that decision. 

Recently, she wanted to throw herself back out there and explore other careers she may be interested in. She interviewed for a position at a corporate company, and while she felt alienated due to her age and lack of recent experience in the corporate world, she went through all four interviews and landed the job!

This challenge, for her, that she embarked on was not a matter of qualifications, professionalism, or experience, but rather the essence of time. Twenty years had passed since she entered an office in business casual, but that did not stop her from throwing herself out there and taking a chance. She is very happy in her position, and is already excelling in the role. 

Time is such a stern concept that drives us to believe we have an expiration date. We believe we’re not capable enough or are too old to even consider, but we need to try. There are so many different ways, especially this day in age, to take a risk and try something we thought we weren’t cut out for. 

Social media can convince us we’re outdated. It can make us believe that we are washed, overrated, unwelcomed, but in reality there is an entire community that is looking for someone just like you. The ‘Charli D’Amelio’s’ phase of social media sensations are over. (This is not to discredit Charli; or her family, it is just a way of capturing time). Social media has taken on an entire new role; it brings people together in a holistic way.

We need to start using social media to our advantage, to what brings a positive outcome. There are so many different communities out there, and we are able to connect with people who have the same passions or interests as us, and we get to learn from each other. Facebook groups, Instagram pages, one time I even saw something about live Zoom calls for people interested in video production freelancing to connect. 

You may say to yourself, “there’s no other twenty-something that majored in poli-sci, but wants to study aerospace engineering” (adjust the ages and ambitions accordingly). But trust me, there is someone out there; in the vast sea of online profiles this world provides there is a person who resonates with what matters to you. 

There are people out there, just like you and me, who maybe share similar experiences and maybe some don’t, but they’re very real, and they can provide support or connect you to an opportunity you never even knew existed.

How Do I Find the Courage

This may be the most challenging part for us. Now that we’ve connected with people that share similar interests, now that we have made time for ourselves, how do you believe in yourself?

My first answer to this question is,

why not you?

Unfortunately, I forget the wise person that said these words to me, but it’s stuck with me until this day. Why not me? We need to reprogram the way we think and give ourselves the opportunity to be successful. If we doubt our capabilities from the jump, we’re taking something away from ourselves. We’re taking away the option, the chance, the risk to figure out whether we even enjoy doing something or not.

Self doubt is chronic in people of all ages. We doubt our abilities–if we’re smart enough, athletic enough, brave enough, committed enough… But what if we started saying, “why not me”. Why couldn’t I be the most intelligent person in the room? Why couldn’t I be the strongest person at the lifting competition? And even if you’re not number 1, what qualifications do you truly lack that separate you from everyone else? Just because we have a degree in one area does not mean we’re not qualified for another, and furthermore, it does not mean we can’t learn more about something else.

Life is all about growing and changing, and we can’t do that if we don’t learn. So maybe you’re not the best ukulele player because you have no clue what a G chord is, but aren’t you at this ukulele class because you wanted to learn to play? If anything, inexperience should be a catalyst to want to absorb more knowledge from this world. 

Go, right now, and look at yourself in the mirror. Yes, you look absolutely stunning, but we already knew that. Now take a deep breath and say to yourself, “Why not me?”

Community is my second answer to this question. There is a whole crowd of people, maybe it’s only 3 and maybe it’s 30, that believe in you. They want to see you succeed, but they also want you to do what makes you happy and fills you with joy. If you have 3 people that believe in you, even if it’s the friend you made off your Facebook group, your grandmother, and the cashier at the liquor store, why shouldn’t you believe in yourself? 

Personally, I don’t think I could’ve gone to that tryout without the support of my community. They believed in me, and that gave me the courage to believe in myself. It’s not always about our ability, because that develops over time, but it’s about taking that risk, as big or little as the jump seems, it’s about freefalling. 

My family, my soccer community, my friends–they know I have not competitively played soccer in that setting for a very long time. But they also reminded me that time is only one factor among several others needed to be considered for this opportunity. Sometimes, the biggest motivation to try something new is just as simple as believing. 

Belief in yourself, that you will try to do your best, and have fun while doing it! (We don’t have enough fun nowadays anyway). So even if you are terrible or make a mistake on the first go-around, give yourself the credit for believing you are capable of trying something new, it’s the least you can do.

Starting Small

Understanding ourselves more and giving ourselves the possibility of something we never imagined is the end goal. What matters now is what happens today. If you’re interested in redesigning your room, what Pinterest inspirations did you find? If you want to try a new recipe, please let me know how it came out. If you reached out to her after several months of no contact, how did you feel?

If there are other opportunities you’re considering pursuing, please share them in the comments below. It will remind you that you are not the only person looking to start something new, and I’m extremely interested in what you may be looking to accomplish. 

There’s no easy way to jump into a new situation, opportunity, or task, but never sell yourself short. Just because time moved on and things changed, it doesn’t mean that you’re not capable of success. 

Time is a constant, and it will always be; that will never change. However, we’re lucky enough that we do. We change by the years, the seasons, the hours, even moment-to-moment. We’re everlasting, forever adapting to the world around us. So why not take on an opportunity when it presents itself?

Time is something we will never get back, something that will continue to move on even if we’re not necessarily ready to, but why should that deny us the possibility of something more? 

In the end, whether you succeed or not, whether I make this team or not, I shouldn’t feel discouraged. I put myself out there. I set my worries, fears, anxieties to the side, and I let myself take advantage of an opportunity I always had dreamed of when I was younger. 

I found out Wednesday I made the team.

Until next time,

Meils